Darkness

Beach in Renaca, with Valparaiso in the distance

I find myself once again sitting in front of my computer, trying to process everything that has happened today. The day began well-I slept in and was greeted with sunshine streaming in my bedroom window. I ate breakfast and google-mapped one of my university's buildings that is within long walking distance from my house. I set off for a lengthy, sunny walk and smiled at the gift of cool breezes to make my little bout of exercise perfectly comfortable. It turns out that I didn't actually find the building I was looking for (I turned around before I arrived because there weren't many wholesome looking people around and I felt really far from my neigborhood), but I still felt really good about all my fresh air and exercise. I returned home for a delicious lunch of rice and mushroom and pepper stir fry and made plans with a few other students to head to the beach in Renaca. When we arrived at the beach, the water was sparkling and the waves were crashing with a comforting ebb and flow on the shore. The sand felt soft and cool beneath my feet as I chatted with my friends about how beautiful this place is, and how comfortable we all feel here.

After the beach we went back into Vina del Mar to find some dinner. Most places were closed since it's Sunday, but we stumbled upon a strange yet interesting pizza place that was still serving. I ordered a veggie pizza and ate it with a funny spice that they brought to the table...smelled and tasted exactly like BBQ sauce. They also give you odd yet delicious ketchup to eat with your pizza since it doesn't have sauce, so I used some of that too.

As we were paying our bill, the lights in the restaurant slowly dimmed and then everything went black. Since I was sitting right next to the window, I could see that the entire street had gone black, save for the headlights of a couple cars. It was 8:50 and already dark out, so there was no natural light left. We all broke out our phones so we could see our way out of the restaurant and headed toward my friend Sarah's apartment. To get there we had to go on one very long street with no cars driving by so we clutched our purses closely and stepped carefully to avoid falling. We couldn't believe the streetlamps weren't on some kind of backup generator, but sure enough everything was out. We entered onto a main street with some banks and pharmacies with backup lights and many cars driving by. Drivers were honking there horns liberally (as they often do here in Chile), as if that was going to change the fact that all the lights and traffic lights were out?! After a long walk and some very harrowing street crossing, we finally arrived at Sarah's building. The power was out there too so we had to walk up a completely dark stairwell to her door. We decided to go inside and wait out the outage for a while since traffic was so heavy and dangerous. After a while my phone began to work and I called my host Mom to ask about the lights at our house, about a 15 minute drive from where I was. My Spanish was terrible because I was so flustered but at least she knew I was safe.

Sarah's host family had a radio that we listened to and learned that almost all of Chile was having a power blackout due to a main power grid failing. They cautioned everyone to unplug everything in their homes as power was slowly returned to different regions at a time. All at once the constant drama of my life this first week here began to get to me, but I told myelf to remain calm, at least until I got home. After a while my friend's host brother came to get us, and we endured a dark but safe ride home as streetlights began to work again. I arrived home and managed to stumble through some small talk as I met a family friend who was sitting by candlelight with my host family in our living room. I had no desire to sit and chat as though everything was good, so with a "permiso" I headed to my room and shut the door.

So, here I sit, utterly exhausted by the rollercoaster of a week I've had. Until now, I honestly think I've succeeded at my"I'm not going to let this craziness get to me" mantra, but tonight I am struggling with that. I do feel like I'm supposed to be here, but tonight was the icing on the cake of all this constant being on-edge. I have to be thankful that the situation wasn't as bad as it could have been-at least I was with a group of friends and knew how to get home and arrived safely. It is just different to find myself saying things like "at least I'm safe" so often, and it starts to mess with your ability to relax after a while! Well, tomorrow is a new day, and I'm sure it will bring adventures of its own...so for now I say buenas noches.